Life and stuff

A Tax on Vaginas: My Comeback Story

Look!  There’s another post on this website that my ten or so followers have definitely forgotten about after over a year of silence.

And look!  It has the word vaginas in the title!  This author has clearly changed.

Actually, my last post was about abortion, so… kind of the same thing.  Abortions definitely are related to vaginas…  I really need to not use ellipses because you know kinda less than formal, but I’m writing this as I would say it, and I’d definitely be inserting some dramatic pauses/weird faces in those ellipses.

Quickly, here’s the deal on me returning to this blog: no idea if I’m going to keep up with it, no idea what I’m going to want to write about from day to day.  Probably sometimes books and recipes like before and sometimes I’m gonna talk about vaginal taxation because I get really worked up about stupid stuff.  But I’m going to try to be on here and interact with the rest of the blogosphere because my real life is kind of stressful right now with the whole college application, last year being a kid thing, and I’m kinda in that existential crisis phase, so I need an outlet (i.e. a random blog where I can spew thoughts into the abyss of the internet.)

First thought upon returning: why on earth are there taxes on pads and tampons?

Let’s throw menstrual cups and all other menstrual blood absorbing/collecting/stopping devices in too because I don’t discriminate.  Unlike the Government Taxation Dipwads who are taxing my period.

I should not be charged for having a uterus.

That’s ridiculous.

Food is not taxed because it is necessary for life.  Since we aren’t sending women to sit alone in huts during their period anymore, I would argue that sanitary items are also necessary for life.  I can’t go about my day-to-day activities with blood streaming down my legs.  Everyone will ask me, “Oh my gosh, are you ok?  We need to take you to the hospital!”  And I’ll say, “No need.  This happens every month.  You might need to reupholster that chair I sat in though.”

In my state of Ohio, I can get breath mints without tax.  But if I use those mints to get frisky on my period, I’m gonna need some pads too.  Otherwise, my date’s going to think I am either an unsanitary idiot or dying.  I guess it could help me weed out the necrophiliacs, but I hope that I’m capable of discovering that without leaking bloody goo all over the place.

And you know what I can get for absolutely free?

Birth control pills and condoms.

If I were pregnant, I wouldn’t have to worry about my bloody vagina, but that would really defeat the point of all those safe sex, stop teen pregnancy campaigns, now wouldn’t it?  So since you’re helping me not be pregnant, you should really help me prevent a Carrie incident while my body’s shooting out blanks.

Because I’m really proud of that line, and I want to save some of the period complaints for another day, I’m gonna sign off here.


But frowns for the taxation department.  I mean seriously, do you think I want to have to wear a pseudo-diaper or shove a stick up myself for a week?


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